Exploring the differences in wiring between a neurodivergent and neurotypical nervous system.
Your first question may be “What is an interest-based nervous system?” Let me explain.
The world revolves around the idea that humans are motivated by rewards or avoiding punishments. We give kids gold stars for doing good work. We may be given a raise at work for a job well done or get sent to detention if we break the rules.
But for many neurodivergent folks, and those with ADHD in particular, motivation is more likely to come from staying engaged with things that interest us. I mean, to an extent, I think everyone is like this–who can’t remember yawning through some boring class in school and having to really push to get themselves to complete the assignments?
But for some neurodivergent folks, it can feel just about impossible to do something that you are totally uninterested in. That can be a real problem, since we all have to do laundry and wash dishes and pay bills, and most of us have some aspect of our jobs that we totally dread and wish we could get out of doing.
As a neurodivergent coach, I sometimes will troubleshoot with my clients about ways they can push through the inertia of a dreaded task–can they save a special musical playlist or podcast to listen to while they are doing the task? Is there a special treat they can save for that time to make it appealing enough?
If you liken the interest-based nervous system to sexual desire, it’s a little easier to comprehend. When a man is not physically attracted to a woman, he’s going to have a very difficult time making love to her. It’s not a matter of willpower, or just trying harder. If the attraction is not there, you can’t force it.
But often, neurotypicals will continue telling neurodivergent folks that they just need to have more willpower, or that they aren’t trying hard enough. And so understanding that it is not fundamentally about willpower can be a real game-changer. You cannot change a person’s wiring any more than you can change their sexual orientation.
If you’ve found strategies that have helped with your interest-based nervous system, I’d love to hear about them in the comments below.